CobaltShine-X

I'm back again. I'm in nursing school now and was assigned Cystic Fibrosis as the topic of my final paper. It was hard to get through. It seems I can't get through more than a month or two without thinking about you.I feel like I don't have the right to feel so sad after all this time. It's been 4 years since I heard you had passed and about 5 since we regularly spoke. I regret not reaching out more in that last year every day. We were friends for a good 4 years and its just so hard to think I'll never be able to talk to you again. I never got to say goodbye. Our last conversation was just me saying I followed you on this account and that I hope we can talk more sometime. I miss hearing about your games that I never understood. I wish I had reached out to your family more while you were still around and got to know them. You always talked about how much you loved your sisters. I feel like my sadness is unwarranted and creepy when your family doesn't know anything about me. I'm just some random person on the internet talking about their brother or son. I'll never truly be able to get closure for this and it still hurts just as much as it did 4 years ago. All I can do is draw our characters in your memory. One day I'd like to do a memorial piece for you to give to your mother, but I'm scared I wouldn't do you justice. I'll find the time eventually. Anyway. I don't believe in any sort of afterlife, but I hope I'm wrong about that. I hope if you're out there somewhere, watching, you get a chuckle out of my worries of creeping out your family by talking about you. To you? Both, I suppose. In my head I know its normal and you touched a lot of lives, they've got to know your passing has effected a lot of people. But still, I worry. You know how good I am at worrying! Until next time, dude. I know I'll end up back here eventually.

- AdriannaNicholle, as you knew me.